Thoughts on growing up homeschooled, among other things

I was thinking a lot recently about my childhood and growing up home schooled. I recently gave a presentation where I mentioned I was homeschooled, and another girl came up to me after and said she enjoyed hearing about my life as she was homeschooled too.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately where women are sharing their story, how they grew up, and their journey through faith. What has caught my eye are the stories of women who grew up in very strict fundamentalist upbringings. I am immediately interested in the story of how they broke free from that background and have found God in new ways. I've been meaning to read more books on that, such as Addie Zierman's When We Were On Fire and Elizabeth Esther's  Girl at the End of the World. I would like to compare their stories with my own.

I had a good childhood. My parents were loving but firm. I never felt that they didn't love me. I did feel sometimes that they wouldn't love me if I ever did something really bad. Our household was definitely oriented around achieving and striving to do our best. This wasn't a bad thing but I grew up thinking my worth was based on how I did. I remember feeling really guilty for lots of things. Not all the time, but every so often.

And back to home schooling. I was a fairly sheltered child. We weren't allowed to watch television, our tv time was picking out a half hour movie from our fairly large stack of VHS's. I rarely went to the theatre, and the only music I listened to was Christian radio. I didn't even know what what swear words were until I was 13 and wrote a paper on media influence. Most of my friends were other homeschoolers, you know, the sweet, good natured kind. I had a number of friends who were louder, more extroverted, and would say wilder things, but in general, my closest friends were the shy, sweet-natured girls.

My main form of socialization was through Bible Quizzing. From ages 14-18, I memorized several books of the Bible and would proudly recite verse off the top of my head. We got to compete against other churches in the area, and I even made it to Internationals in my last year of quizzing. I flew down to Pennsylvania and quizzed against other teams from churches all around Canada and North America.

Because my parents wanted to give me a solid Christian education, they decided to enroll me in an American liberal arts university. And here's the kicker: I stayed at home and took online courses from Canada. So basically, school at home continued until I was 20. Pretty crazy, right? I did take a couple local university colleges, learning different languages, but my main schooling was all online at home.

Then a couple years ago, my family moved across the country to and I started attending a small, Christian liberal arts university. I moved into residence just a couple months after the move. And boy, was it a change from my homeschool friends and life. I was all of a sudden immersed in this new culture of people who were Christians, but acted completely different than the ones I was familiar with. Girls were a bit louder and crazier and *gasp* would even talk about how hot other guys were! It was a strange world to be in, and often I felt like I didn't belong.

But after three years at that university, I became used to the culture. Although I still felt like a fish out of water sometimes, I am much more familiar with environment. And I changed too. I started thinking about things I'd never considered in my homeschool world. Things such as feminism and acceptance, tolerance, etc. I remember when it shocked me the first time I heard a girl say, "I used to believe in creationism, but after taking philosophy, I don't believe in it anymore." Now I don't blink an eye. I am much more open to hearing other people's views and not trying to force others to believe exactly the way I do. My views on dating, purity, and love have shifted. I'm still figuring out where I stand on certain issues. But all in all, I am glad I moved. I am glad to have experienced this new culture of people. I'm glad that I didn't stay the same and that my eyes have been opened in new ways. I'm glad I didn't stay at home.

And I'm back!!

It sure has been a while, hasn't it! I'm about to graduate in April and am finishing my last four courses of my degree. It's been a crazy ride, and about to get even crazier, but if I can hold on till then, it'll be worth it.

Today in my seminar class, the prof was talking about discernment and what it specifically involves. He encouraged us to examine the voices speak into our lives and make sure that we surround ourselves with friends aren't all "yes people" but who will challenge us, bring a holistic view, a 360 degree understanding of the situation. And of course, stay connected to God, in whatever way that looks for us. It was fascinating discussing a topic that was quite interesting to me. Recently I had a friend speak into my life in ways that I found uncomfortable and really wrestled with. But after thinking over what she had to say and talking with others, I realized the grains of truth in what she was saying. I haven't had a lot of friends who challenge me, so this is new for me. I hope that as I continue on after graduation that I will gather friends who won't be afraid to be honest in what they think, as well as provide support and encouragement.